Red and white

 Red and white are the colors we wear on the 1 st of March. White is the snow that melts, red is the fresh youthful blood of spring. I have a meeting with my boss at noon, and an appointment at the doctor at 10 today. This was i thought the ranked order of importance. But the doctors decide i am not to go home. My baby is due to be born. Why now, is it not soon? Maybe they say, but the baby is in distress, and you are having contractions. We are going to to a C section because she is still breech. I am calling the husband, and he is planning to come at the end of the work day. Because he is close, and he knows that the birthing process takes long, and because he had waited for many ours outside the delivery door when our firs child was born. I am trying to explain that this will be different . He is stressed. The nurses are trying to wheel me out to the surgery room. I tell them to wait. I exchange my turn in line for surgery with another woman, and they warn me - you are next. I tell them to wait. I want my husband to be part of this. And he comes running, 10 minutes before the scheduled surgery. He gets dressed, and he is allowed in the room. I have no pain this time, they use anesthetics here and now , and it is very different than last time, and it promises to be short. 20 minutes later my baby girl is born. And my husband and i are arguing in the delivery room about the correct spelling of her name. We decide it to let it be his way, and the nurse calms down. We walk out with our baby girl in a little basinet on wheels. And it is snowing. 

The first night i cannot sleep very well, i watch over the girl and my tired husband who is sleep deprived as he was trying to finish experiments for a grant in the weeks before the baby was scheduled to arrive . But she was in a rush, or my body was in a rush and he sleeps next to my bed exhausted. I did not know realize how i had to pay for the ease of the C section delivery, with difficulty recovering. I have trouble getting up to pick up the baby. So i take up the pillow and hit my husband to wake him up and hand me the baby. He falls asleep again. I hit him with the pillow to put the tiny baby back in the basinet since i am afraid not to hurt her if i fall asleep next the her. Rinse and repeat for the night. Then the morning comes and life promises to be better. It is always better when you can see things in natural light.

It had not snowed all winter , but it did on that first of March for my Martisor surprise girl. The colors of this day i have not chosen, they were handed to me by tradition every year, and this year they are as always true: red is the color of young blood, and white are the pure snow and soul. Keep it peaceful and calm and loving and happy my dear martisor girl.

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